As you can see by the title, this is a combination post. I know, I know, I could have broken it up into 3 different posts, but why do that when one long one will suffice.
I remember when Memorial Day was called Decoration Day. It was the day for families to adorn the graves of fallen family members who gave their lives in war. And it was a time of getting together, not for cook-outs and parties, but to meet at the cemeteries.
My grandmother was "keeper of the graves" and it was very special to go with her. We would start at one and be there early enough for the American Legion 21 gun salute. It was a solemn ceremony and we were delighted that we could police the brass shell casings that were ejected and take them home to Dad. My great-uncle was killed in WW! at the age of 17 or 18. I can't remember now without looking it up for sure. He lied about his age to enlist. I don't remember if the graves were adorned with flags from the Legion in those days, but Grandma also planted fresh flowers and took away the dead and cleared the weeds, while we roamed the cemetery reading other gravestones. Could be why my sister and I still like going to cemeteries, whether we know anyone buried there, just to read the headstones. I could relate more cemetery stories, but that may wait for another post.
We would then move to other cemeteries until we had cared for all of the family graves. I seem to remember that there was a parade in town that started at the town square and made it's way to the town cemetery. It wasn't much of a parade, mainly the American Legion Color Guard and a few followers. The same solemn ceremony was performed and then it was over. But, it wasn't the same as the early one, more people and too late in the morning. The one barely after sunrise was much more moving.
So, on the Memorial Day, don't thank those serving now, or the ones living who served. They have their days. Honor the fallen. Go to the local cemetery, even if you don't know anyone there and walk among the stones with flags beside them. Their headstone may tell a story that our history books are slowly eliminating and our children don't understand. And after you've paid your respects, then enjoy your parties and friends.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i said goodbye to a friend of more than 30 years yesterday. No, she didn't pass on, she and her husband are moving to North Carolina and this is moving week. I had been dreading this day, ever since I knew the move was a done deal.
She and her husband came by for a visit yesterday and it was good talking to them, but the tears started with the first hug, went away, came back with the final hugs and the visit ending with all 4 of us in a group hug for prayer.
Even though we didn't seem to be close friends, we knew we were there for each other and if possible, could drop everything at the drop of a hat and go help the other. She was a great comfort to me when my brother-in-law passed away. I remember sitting in her living room sobbing with her holding me, not saying a word. I remember helping her care for herself after she had surgery and couldn't do it alone and her husband on the road with his truck. It's funny, we tend to think that nudity, especial with older women, is something that shouldn't be talked about, or even seen, but we both thought nothing about me helping her in and out of the shower and drying her off. That's just what friends do. We could talk about anything, we sang together, her lovely soprano with my alto, around the piano and the guys chiming in. Good times!
I so happy for them. This is the first time in a very long time that they have been able financially to purchase a house. And they moved to be closer to a man they consider a father. I understand that, but my selfish self wants her here. They'll be back this way at times, and who knows, maybe we'll end to North Carolina sometime, or meet somewhere in the middle. But for now, my heart hurts for me, but is happy for them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It will be a year on Tuesday that my ex-husband passed away suddenly, killed in a freak accident mowing his yard...on Memorial Day. Even though we were divorced, we do have kids together and we made a conscious effort not to bad mouth the other parent around the kids. As we grew older, we became the friends we should have been while we were married. We spent some holidays together, with our current spouses, and when the grandkids started coming, birthday parties and graduations.
He was very concerned with my husband's deteriorating health and offered to accompany us on our twice yearly trips to the Mayo Clinic in Florida to help with the driving. It wasn't until this year, the year my husband nearly died and is still very weak, that I wished he was still here. I probably would have taken him up on it!
It still doesn't seem real that he's gone and I think it's because he was cremated as soon as his organs were harvested and we didn't get to see him for it to sink in. He did have a very nice memorial service in his hometown in Illinois with family and friends freely sharing memories of him. And it was nice to re-connect to them.
I had a moment not long ago when I was thinking about a person we knew when we were younger, but I couldn't remember where we met him, if it was here or another base. And my thought was, I can call Gene and ask him. Except, I couldn't call him. I've also yelled at him at times, when our son needed help financially. That was something we were sharing the responsibility with, and now it falls to me. I know that's selfish, but that's how I feel sometimes.
I'm sure the kids are going to have a hard time tomorrow, as will his widow, She's having his ashes buried in the National Cemetery near his hometown in Illinois. I think it hurt our daughter that he will be so far away and harder to visit, but, it's an honor he's eligible for and that's what his widow wants to do.
This ends this long and overdue post for this blog. Thanks for reading it, if you made it to the end. And if you didn't, for the part that you did read. I'm going to try to update this more often. Since I do another blog chronicling my husband's transplant journey this one seems to get pushed away. And some of this stuff goes in my personal handwritten journey, But, I'll try to do better. And then again, maybe not. Anyway, thanks for readying.
