To Mask or Not to Mask, That is the Question

I want to tell everyone a story, and it may just change some minds regarding wearing face masks in stores, and in public. My governor today announced that face masks must be worn in public. This is the same governor that did not issue shelter in place orders when the pandemic first began. But, that's not the story I want to tell.

My husband was hospitalized on November 15, 2019. He had COPD, emphysema, bronchiectasis, and bacterial pneumonia. The bacteria he had was pseudomonas, which is contagious, but can be treated with various antibiotics. His strains only responded to four different ones, so those were rotated.

Once the diagnosis of pseudomonas was made, anyone entering his hospital room had to, at the least, wear a protective gown. All staff also had to wear gloves, and if I was helping do something, I too had to wear gloves. And then came COVID-19.

After the first case arrived at his hospital, all visitors were required to wear masks and have a temperature check before entering the hospital. I was at the hospital every day, sometimes staying overnight if his condition warranted, other times flying down the road in the middle of the night after getting a call from the ICU nurse telling me to come fast. Each time I arrived at the hospital, I had to wear a mask from the time I left my car until I returned to my car. The only time it could be removed was when I was eating.

As more COVID cases presented, the hospital started restricting visitors. The only exceptions made were in the ICU units, where my husband was. No other visitors were allowed in the hospital. I had to give my name at the front desk and the attendant had to call the unit to make sure I could go up. The only other places in the hospital I was allowed was the ICU waiting room, if I had to leave his room for a procedure, the cafeteria to get meals to go, and the bathroom down the hall. Other than that, I had to stay in his room. I could not even let someone give me a day off and take my place, or wait in the waiting room so we could take a break every 2 hours. It was me or no visitors.

My husband was on a vent, with a tracheostomy, a feeding tube in his stomach, a central line in his neck after all of his other veins rejected IVs, a catheter, and all of the other heart, lung monitors stuck to him. But, that's not the real story I want to tell either.

I tell all of you this because I was my husband's voice and the hospital understood this. After the first 3 months, they knew that he depended on me to be his voice...and they made an exception for me to be there for him in the midst of the pandemic. The gift shop closed, Starbucks closed, no elective surgeries or doctor appointments, the hospital was a ghost town. Yet, every morning I was able to stop at his door, don my gown, grab a new mask if necessary and tell him good morning. The nurses had even told me that if the visitation situation changed again, they would tell me not to go home that night, so I made sure I had a few days of clothes with me and medications needed.

The first part of May, face shields were added for all hospital personnel, whether they were in contact with COVID patients or not. I asked if I should start being more concerned and was assured that it was just a new requirement for nursing staff.

On day 181 of the hospitalization, my husband peacefully passed away. I was able to be by his side, singing his favorite hymn to him as he slipped away.  I was so grateful that he got to know that I was there and he didn't have to die alone.

Fast forward now. My brother-in-law, who did not leave his house without a mask, didn't go anywhere except to the dr., is in ICU, on a vent, with COVID-19. His wife, my sister-in-law who just lost her brother, can't be with him. The last time she saw him was July 1 when the EMTs carried him out of the house, for an unrelated reason. He is in critical condition, and there is a chance he may not make it. He is 78 years old, my husband was 77.

Put yourself in these positions. Is it worth it to wear a mask to protect your family members? So what if you don't have symptoms? My brother-in-law didn't have symptoms either! 

The masks are uncomfortable, you say? Sure they are, and the skin on my face has paid the price of wearing them. So what? I'm not so vain that I can't deal with a little acne breakout! At my husband's memorial service this past week-end, everyone had to wear a mask or not come into the church. Did anyone turn around and walk away? No!

Those arguments aren't enough? OK, how about this one. You want or need to shop at Walmart, or Kroger, or Target, or Kohl's. Or you want to enjoy some coffee at Starbucks. But, they all have mask policies now. But it's your right to shop there, and no-one is going to tell you you can't, right? How about the gay couple that wanted to buy a cake at the best bakery, but were told no, by the bakery, because it was against their beliefs...and the government upheld those beliefs. Yet, these stores today have the right to set this policy and the government, mainly by state mandates, are upholding the right of the store to set this policy. Now you are the one on the other side of the equation.

Folks, we can't have it both ways. Your "right" to not wear a mask, doesn't trump the stores "right" to set a policy that they believe protects their employees and other consumers. You don't have to wear a mask, but you do have to accept the consequences of not doing so. You can still shop online and do curbside pickup, or have things delivered. 

I will continue to wear a mask, not only to protect me, but to protect you from me. No, I don't have the virus, but I won't take a chance with your life or mine.

As always, this is just my opinion, which I am entitled to, just as you are entitled to yours. These are not "official" facts, but situations that I have been/am dealing with.